.........So now my brother has his friends over, and have the music cranked up so loud I can't hardly think. Much less sleep.

For such a large house it feels terribly cramped right now.

Seriously. I think diets are bullshit.

Especially the kinds that cut one food group out entirely and cram far too much of another into it's place.

I'm talking about Atkins, yes. Mom's been on it for a while now, and just because she had a minor slip this weekend and ate some grains, she has horrendous gas and is stinking up the entire upstairs WITH HER BEDROOM DOOR CLOSED. I just caught a whiff of it and wanted to vomit a little. It smells that bad. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST.


At least I have to go to work in... oh....two hours. x.x I pulled an all nighter because really, if I slept? I'd be even more tired when I woke up. I'll just go to work and then I'll be able to crash tonight and sleep early. Then I'd be on schedule for the rest of the week. (Fucking 4 am schedule. I HATE IT.)






OH GOD THE GAS. MUST OPEN WINDOWS JEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSCHRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIST YOU GUYS!

Jesus. So I'm going to work and I heard about the V.Tech.U shootings. What's the world coming to? Well, it's easy to see it's going insane.

33 people dead, ? wounded.

I don't really understand what all happened. We'll probably hear about it for the next couple of months constantly though. I just know one thing: Other campuses are going to tread with caution when shootings happen from now on. This one demonstrates the need for it.

Prayers and well wishes won't help make anyone feel better at the moment where emotions are high and confusion is rampant. Maybe tommorrow or the next day. I'll just close by saying I'm going to bed, now...

Goodnight.

I've picked up a pack of blank cards recently, and plan on turning them into personalized Christmas cards. So far I've only my four people to make some for (they know who they are!), and if anyone else would like one, please let me know!

Just drop a comment here with the character you'd like on the card, and an address to send it to once December arrives. <3 Original characters, fanart, anthro, anime, whatever you want, you got it.

Comments are screened.

Another bit of Bad Habits and Strange Addictions for you, Ziri. However, this isn't completed yet. This is just the first section of it, the second part will come soon. I'm still working on it now. :3

( Bad Habits and Strange Addictions: Idiots for a Dime a Dozen. )

My brain really hurts, but I realized I never posted this. Ziri, I'll leave placement in the story to you. <3


( Bad Habits and Strange Addictions: Plots and Job Slots. )

Ziri wrote the coolest little ficlet, called Bad Habits and Strange Addictions.

I loved it so much I had to write a spin off of it, for Naruto and Sasuke. XD (See, I told you I'd write a little Neji-bum-shaking in there Ziri!)

( Bad Habits and Strange Addictions: Ass Factory story. )

hehe. Check out devart. Sou much stuffs.

I HATE WIRELESS INTERNET.

I bet you all wonder why I've not been online lately.... Wonder no more. My damn wireless card gave out on me. I've yet to figure out the problem, except maybe that it's a piece of crap. I'm at my parents house now checking up on things.

I really don't know WHEN it will be up and working. 9_9 My roommates' gonna work on it tonight, because I'm absolutely clueless. If all else fails, I'll have to ask Dad to come over and look at it.




*screams*
AND I HAVE ARTWORK TO UPLOAD GODCRAMMIT. <-Very very frustrated Foksfoks because she wants to talk to peoples.

ps. I'm adding people to gj. sorry for the wait.

Dear Yuki,

How much I'm hurting you?

Let me set one thing straight: This isn't about me being a nice person. And what I'm doing isn't cruel. It's humane, to myself. You are not in the picture of my life anymore, for good reason. You've done nothing but cheat me, and if this hurts you, well I'm not apologizing for it. You've done this to yourself, so stop seeking a blame on me for carrying out my life.

You do not seem to understand this at all, at least that's what some people have told me. That you don't understand what you've done. To be quite honest I think you do understand, you just don't want it to ruin your reputation. Or perhaps you just want a way to gouge me further with your silly childish attempts at getting attention from people who really know nothing about it, nor really need to be involved.

But in case you really don't understand, let me make it clear, so there are no gray areas anymore:

You stole from me, you lied about it, and now you are seeking to make the entire situation seem like it's my fault. Is it my fault your credit is bad? Is it my fault you have too many bills to pay? No. It isn't. You received the check in November, and now it's May, and I have still YET to see a penny of my money.

And you know something else?

You never asked me if you could use it for bills. You never even told me the check came. You just went right on ahead and did it, thinking that I'd be fine without it. My PARENTS have money. OF COURSE THEY DO. But it's not MY money. Unlike what you think my parents don't fucking pamper me, and if you were as honest as you swore you were, you would have at least asked. Did you just think that I'd have no need for it? That I wouldn't have books to buy for school, or some bills to pay myself?!

I DID!

But that didn't matter to you did it? You had YOUR bills to pay, and your life to live. You can lie all you want, but never once did you tell anybody about the money, DID you?! Just that "Oh Heather left me!". (GEE, I WONDER.) Don't sit there and complain and whine and cry to people who have no idea what went on trying to gain pity. You made this bed so you alone need to lie in it. I was at least respectful of that, and didn't go crying to everyone in the world I knew that you were a big mean bitch who stole from me.

But you've gone to people I knew and told them a pile of shit that I had to clean up later. I'm sick of cleaning up after you. I'm sick of listening to your emails, which are full of trying to lull me back into your world, where I was wrong and you are right and you are forgiving. It's not working, and it never will work. Your lies and ploys are no longer effective on me.

Is this what you wanted? For me to take this public so you can point at me again and make me look like the bad guy? So whoever the hell is watching that you feel is important will join with you? I'm not sorry for ignoring you, for cutting you out of my life. I never will be.

Do not: email me, aim me, comment on my journal, put me on your livejournal friends list, and especially DO NOT comment on my comments on other people's pages. In fact, never contact me again. You're wasting your time, and your effort. Go find somebody else to toy with. I will not play your fool.

This is closure for you, because I believe that is why you are still parading this tattered flag around. Silence does nothing, except drag things out. At least in this case.


-Fox-

A man from Walmart called me back today and asked if I could show up for an interview at 10:30 tommorrow. I told him I most certainly could and looked forward to meeting him. I'll have to call Kirei and see if she wants to go with me for support. :>
*wish wish wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiish*
I also applied at Godiva chocolates yesterday, so hopefully they'll call me back too. I know whoever offers more money will get me. Though if 50% off the chocolate isn't a damn good incentive.... mrrr... no no mustn't be tempted, chocolate over money is not good... @_@;
But yes, this has put me in a damn good mood today. =D I'm tempted to go dancing through the house. No one else is home afterall. But alas I have to go buy catfood for mom, so I cannot. -_-;
It's going to rain today. I'll dance in the rain. =D

I found out that Right Stuf has the rights to Gravitation. Okay. That's fine and good and all. Should be interesting to see what kind of job they do on it. Aoi checks it out, and finds that the dvd is 30 bucks.

For 3 episodes.

Gee, wow.

So I wrote a little reply when they asked the customers to see what they think on it.



Feedback:
You know, this probably won't make much sense but... 3 episodes? On one
dvd? Sure this series is great and everything, but I'm sure plenty of
people out there are just not willing to pay 30 bucks for a dvd with so
little on it.
In the long run, is it really better to stretch out a short series for
what is hoped to be a bigger profit? I know if the dvd had at least 5
episodes on it I'd buy the series. But for three episodes on one, and
with the impression that the rest of the dvds would be like that as
well, my wallet would scream "Let's buy something else.".


Usually the standard amount of episodes on an anime dvd nowadays is four. For one more episode I would have paid 30 dollars. But basically you are paying 10 dollars an episode for the dvd.
Now, I really had a laughing fit when I got this intelligent reply from the customer service rep:


Heather,
Here is the break down for the Gravitation Series DVD's:
DVD#1-3 episodes
DVD#2-3 episodes
DVD#3-4 episodes
DVD#4-3 episodes

I understand your concern about the price, however the Gravitation
series is worth paying almost $30 for each DVD.

Thanks for your e-mail.

Check out TRSI's newest title, Comic Party at www.rightstuf.com
available now for pre-order. Don't be the only not invited to the
party.


Mindy
If you have any questions you can reach us either at 800-338-6827 or
515-252-6116 M-F 8-5 Central Standard Time. You can also fax us at
515-252-0555.


Only ONE dvd has 4 eps, and that's #3? Why not #4? Are they doing this because #3 has a big cliffhanger and they want to make people buy #4? What the hell? Aoi's right, anime licensors are getting greedier and greedier. And probably forgotten about the customer. :\
Recently the manga licensors have realized that high prices on graphic novels wasn't the way to go, so I wonder when the anime people are going to realize it too. Usually I'm never really upset over this sort of thing, but I really like Gravitation.
Because yaoi/shonen ai titles nowadays are just testing the market waters, I'm worried this sort of selling will reflect badly on the market. :\ And I'd LIKE to see some good yaoi out there. But if people start pulling this sort of crap I may as well kiss that dream goodbye.

The Scuzzy Schedule:

Weekend-
*Get Geology paper finished.
*Start up Art History paper. (choose topic/get books)
*Come up with Informative speech topic for class. =D JOY. RAPTURE. BARF. =D


Weekly shit-
*Find out what to do to get a job at the PO.
*Clean out room.
*Rearrange room.
*Look into apartments with Suiren.
*Job hunt with Suiren.
*Possibly start commissions? Since I'm broke and need to save up for the moving.


Am I forgetting anything? I don't think so... Anyway. Yeah. =D


While I'm a little nervous at the aspect of a job, I'm sorta excited. Money. Money money money, that I really need. I need to move in with Suiren fuzzball when she gets her apartment. So she's not lonely. Plus I have found life is pretty much lacking. I need something added to my daily schedule that isn't SCHOOL. Christ. It's gotten so bland it tastes like paper.

I'm really excited about rearranging my room too. n.n I'm so silly but I am. I like doing it. I couldn't do it enough before and now I have the perfect chance to finally make this room more comfortable for me. Optimize the space and all that wonderful interior decorating jazz. <3

And now I go play Sonic Adventure. n.n Because chaos are cute.

Tonight I'm in a foul mood.

I wish to scrape off this skin and become something else again. What's that mean?

Well it pretty much means GOODBYE furry art.

My other art has died because of it. Not that my art was much before. It still isn't. I need classes. Badly. I hate staring at other artwork and realizing just how downright fucking shitty my own stuff is. I have that spark of talent, but the sword is double bladed because neither talent nor potential is tempered enough to become more than amatuer. I long to become something that can be put on a shelf.

Does anyone understand what I'm talking about? When you take a look at comics everything seems good to go. Mastered. They've been honed to a certain degree where perfection doesn't matter anymore. Because it is. THAT'S what I want.

What's the real fucking kicker is that I'm filled to the brim with ideas. With fantasies. Things I wish to GET OUT IN VISUALS BESIDES FUCKING TEXT. I have an idea for something I'd actually like to make money on. I have so many projects I wish to do...could have done.... if only I'd learned better before. If I'd had the access to becoming something decent.

But no. Here I sit dabbling and dawdling, doing nothing at all. It's enough to make me wish to cut my fucking hands off and sew different ones back on.



So this means a leave of absence from furry stuff for the Fox. And no, I don't hate anyone, so it's no one's fault. I just hate myself is all.


Next time you see me it may be in something totally new.

What the hell is wrong with me?

I was fine yesterday and today I'm completely frustrated. Blah. I guess it's my period.

I really really really need to rip those blasted parts out one of these days.


Weekend was pretty cool nonetheless. Friends came over, we partied, and watched some... um. Not so great pron. The tapes we really wanted to get weren't in so we settled for some not-so-great tapes. Blah.

As I told my friend, I really need to direct a porno one of these days. No. Seriously. I don't think any pornos have been made that have some really beautiful men in them. Like androgynous beautiful. The best of both worlds come together.

I bet there is such a market for that kind of thing that it'd bust box offices.

Or maybe I'm just too much of a dreamer. >p

I found out that it WAS okay for my friends to come over for new years. What will happen is I'll pick up Suiren and Aoi sometime in the afternoon, then go grab some snack foods and party gear. We'll come back to my place and set up for the party, complete with movies, PS2 downstairs on big screen, some mood music in the dining room, and some sort of take out for dinner. Pizza is gonna be a no-no. Our pizza places suck.

I think I'm going to get more beta fish tommorrow. Because I LOVE THEM. I only wish I could get them all bigger tanks so I could watch them all dance around like marvelous ribbons every morning.

I'd forgotten how entrancing it is to watch them swim free and fast. I have the stackable tanks so I can get a whole lot of them. I should also get some pellet food as I think my new boys do not like the bloodworms. o_0 They pecked them then said "Feh" and left it to get soggy. Maybe they weren't hungry?

I'm also tempted to get koi fish. Because I like those too damnit all. -_- leave me alone I like fishies.

My only problem is finding someplace good enough to put them all because my room sometimes gets kitties running through it, and I'll have to be careful they don't get to them. ;_;

Ah well. Top of my shelf should do fine for now.

Anyone heard of Rock and Rule? It's supposed to be like another Heavy Metal or American Pop type movie.

I felt bored and went looking up old toon movies I used to watch as a kid and that one caught my eye. It looks strangely interesting for rat type people singing rock and roll music. o.0

Of all the things in the world I would wish to do, I'd like to create an animation collection to shame the big film industries. There'd be no money in it I know, but it'd be something nice to do to pass my time. I've found a big hole of information on the web. It's there, but it's all in bits and pieces and makes no sense. Somebody needs to put it together and make it fit.

I'll start when I get a job.

Christmas is......WHEN?

God it creeps up so fast. That's it. I have GOT to fucking sit down and start drawing up everyone's christmas gifts. I've got about four to do, maybe five.

Yeah I tried studying, but the online site for the class is NOT being nice to me and I'm stuck trying to find a password that's lost. Stupid site. Fuck it. I'll just fail. It's too late now anyway.

Either that, or I'm getting straight C's. I think that's what's going to happen. Whee. Hear my grade average dropping? Whoopdeefucking doo hoo hoo. I don't give a shit anymore.

I'm just going to be a fucking obscure person anyway, what's poverty got to do with anything?

Well I'm finally all set for next semester. Dropped the class, talked to the advisor, worked my schedule to get in speech and geology with Aoi... It's a MWF schedule so only three blasted days up at that blasted place. Yay.
Got an application to A.C. Moore's too. I think it would be fun to work there. And there was a data entry job in the paper....
Mom lent me her book on real estating. I'm going to look over it tonight. If it looks interesting enough and I understand it, I may try it. Hell I'd have a job I could LIVE off then while finishing up the rest of this degree. Something to fall back on, you know?
Slowly shit is falling into place. Whether that place is a fan with a tricky switch is up to fate I suppose. I know I can't read the future.

Is it only 5:30? Jeez. I thought it was later. I think I'll go take a bath. I need one, and I don't want to get up early tommorrow since I've got to be at class at 9.

I need new icons. All these are so bland. More expressions Tsuzuki!! <3